The game is presented as a series of various timed missions that involve killing robots, picking people up, killing more robots, blowing up buildings, and killing even more robots. I got as far as the Devastator boss battle before declaring I’d had enough of the Autobots, but I did finish the entire Decepticon campaign and it took barely more than an hour or two. There are two campaigns for either the Autobots or the Decepticons. Between stages, the robots talk at each other about garbage that barely makes any sense, and what few cutscenes exist are rubbish and lazy. Whatever plot there’s supposed to be, it’s barely existent. Also, there is no Megan Fox outside of one brief photograph of her face in this game - this automatically removes the one and only reason to give a shit about this game. That means it’s based on Michael Bay’s latest travesty where Starscream sounds like Orson Welles for no good reason and Megatron is a slave to some mysterious and half-baked new robot that nobody in their right mind should care about. The first thing that’s wrong with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is that it’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, PC, Wii)
I could, and should, just leave it at that, but we’ve got to at least pretend we’re writing a review that someone gives a crap about, so let’s soldier on and fool ourselves into thinking this piece of writing is even vaguely relevant, shall we? Read on as we review, for some reason, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. It’s a licensed movie game and it doesn’t try to be anything more. It’s been crafted solely to sucker money out of impressionable kids, and it’s going to make millions of dollars. It does the very bare minimum to be considered competent and very little else. Let’s not beat about the bush: Revenge of the Fallen is a typically rushed licensed game intended to coincide with an awful movie that shamelessly rapes your fondest childhood memories.
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